So I started a few blogs of my own, lost em due to unpaid server fees, got frustrated stopped. Moved to Kansas (yeah, that happened) and started my career as an author. Which is to say I answer telephones for a living and try my best not to lose my thought process in the in-between.
That said, I'm in a good place right now--I'm getting my bills paid mostly on time, got a little foolin' around money, for the first time in my adult life my home situation is completely under my own control and I've set both time and space aside for the writing I aspire to do. Clearly I need a distraction, and this is gonna be one of them. I'll try my best to minimize the personal introspection, even go so far as to properly label and marginalize it for ya, but for now I have no audience and I'm gonna use this opportunity to reflect a bit.
I have a job (I won't call it a career) with legit retirement prospects. Being federally employed has perks, including grandfathering in my military service towards retirement, but I can't see myself continuing in my current job and I have only fleeting interest in anything I can jump to from here.
My education is at a crossroads. Two years ago I really planned to continue to graduate school in literature, get my PhD and teach university while writing novels. Now? I convinced myself initially that the window wasn't right to apply in my senior year because my grades were too low. Then I convinced myself that the programs here in Kansas weren't suited to my interests. Now I'm asserting that in order to write fiction I've got all the education I need, and that graduate study is just one more delay so I can put off finishing that novel until age 40. All of this is true in one way or another, and it's all a bunch of excuses.
I've got 19 months of GI Bill funding left to use, and I'm very strongly leaning towards completing a Master's in Information Technology through UMUC. Why? Well, for starters, if I get that degree and no one ever buys one of my books I can have a career instead of a job. I've learned the hard way that dealing with customers isn't my strong suit, they're too... needy. Also, I'm a nerd at heart. Independent of this study the website I visit most frequently is wired.com, followed by cnet. After I joined the army I took special delight in distancing myself from my techie past, but what I managed to do instead was lose a set of skills that I had cultivated through natural inclination and interest. Every component of this graduate program corresponds to an area of interest that, independent of career, will provide some satisfaction in its pursuit.
But that leads me to my current crisis, I'm being pulled in a LOT of different directions right now:
1. I need to refresh and prepare for this program. To that end I'm working on completing Comptia certifications in computer hardware and networking. I get free computer based training through work, but the coursework is long and tedious. Additionally, 2010 is the last year that these certifications will be life-time certs. If I take the exams anytime after Dec 31 I'll have to renew every 3 years.
2. I'm finally making good progress on my novel, and I've begun to research my next project in earnest. This is the area of my life I want to focus on the most right now, as it has been my dream for more than ten years to make my living in wordsmithery. I was having a hard time making time and finding the right mindset previously, now I'm having a hard time remaining focused on a single project.
3. My language skills are atrophying. I need to make time to maintain & improve upon them, either at work or at home and I need to work towards real goals.
4. My life, on paper, is chaotic. I have tax crap to sort out with the state of California, old credit problems to iron out, and new credit to establish. It shouldn't be time consuming, but setting any time aside for this seems like a waste of life.
5. Gaming and Media Consumption. I DVR an average of 2 shows/night, I have subscriptions to five magazines, 20+ twitter feeds, the newsfeeds of 100 of my 'closest' friends on facebook, I scan the headlines on wired.com, tmz and cnet daily, and then I turn to the highlighted stories @news.google. Am I bragging? Maybe a little, but I also recognize that its excessive. Add to that an average of 40+ hours connected to 3-Kingdoms (a text based online RPG) and drooling over the future(tm) release of Jumpgate Evolution and I've got a real time crunch on my hand. Did I mention I like movies? More like I love them. Sometimes I think my real calling was to do a PhD in popular culture...
6. Then there's my gym membership. I think the card is growing cobwebs. Seriously. Ok, not seriously, but there are entire months that I think I'm too busy to go. I'm about to turn 30, and I'm starting to see that if I don't take control of my health in an immediate sense it's not gonna happen.
7. I'm dating seriously for the first time in a while. Amy is fantastic, but our schedules are horrible for one another so it makes it important to maximize the time we do have with one another.
8. Phoebe and her husband want me to help them out with their construction projects. Its not really up my alley, but I can't argue with the compensation in the meantime and it's another way out from the yoke that is my job.
9. I'd love to go to Burning Man, I want to produce a cartoon for web distribution, I like playing Poker and I'd love to get better at it, I want to see the whole world in person, I want to enjoy some decadent vacations, I need to see my family and friends back home on a regular basis, I should get out more, my dog is starved for attention, and sleeping is something I never seem to regret.
Resolution:
I think the first solution is to focus on my education and media consumption while at work. Complete my online courses first, mix in some language maintenance projects a few hours per week, and use the rest of my time keeping up with my reading on diverse subjects. That takes care of 1, 3 and half of 5. If I add 4 to the mix at work it won't take too much time from the others and it'll have the moral victory of being paid while doing something I'd rather forget.
Outside of work I need to prioritize then set minimums. I.e. if I limit my access to gaming and television until after I've met my fitness & writing goals I'll have more motivation to keep up with them and on non-work days I'll have time to catch up on my couch potating.
That just leaves 7, 8, 9. Clearly I'm gonna sync up my free time with Amy's, though we've talked recently and have acknowledged that together time doesn't always have to be spent independent of our interests. Time will tell, right? Helping Phoebe is infrequent at best, so I'll just play that by ear, and most of 9 can take the back burner to these other projects... though I'll try to pay more attention to Jabba, he deserves better! I think the only way to have more time for category 9 is clear the table by accomplishing some of these other goals!
*fingers crossed, because yeah, that solves everything*
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